I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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