Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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