You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
