Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
