This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
