What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
