Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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