Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
