Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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