I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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