i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
