How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
