Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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