The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
