I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
