I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
