for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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