He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
