somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
