I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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