We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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