You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize