hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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