i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
