glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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