My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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