He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
