I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
