I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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