Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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