i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
