Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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