addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
