Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
