Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
