thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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