Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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