the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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