But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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