He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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