I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
