we're chasing vodka with high fives
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
