i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
