Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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