I wish my penis had an off switch
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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