turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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