her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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