How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
