everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
