last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
