He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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