we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
operation have a gay friend backfired
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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