i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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