I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
