Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize