Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
