Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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