maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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