oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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